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[reachingfangs]

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video ⬤ audio ⬤ text ⬤ delivery ⬤ action

character name ⬤ Renji Abarai
residential district ⬤ Middle Lunatia
moonblessing ⬤ Iris

app ⬤ permissions ⬤ nsfw info

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[loudmouths]

[ keigo hadn't considered how this might be affecting renji, listening to him go on and on about his fears and concerns, as irrational as they could be. he knew renji was essentially powerless to stop this sort of thing from happening, but he also couldn't blame him for that state of powerlessness, either. he hardly expected renji to have an answer or solution for him... though that did serve to make the situation feel all the more hopeless.

but somehow, renji knew how to turn things around for keigo's state of mind. while it was true he couldn't reverse whatever damage had been done, renji still had the ability to make keigo realize the strength he still held even in spite of all of this. it was obvious in his tone that he had a great deal of faith in him, which in and of itself was humbling. but what made it truly solidify in his mind was how renji was so willing to come down to his lowly level and pull him back up again. be it with words or with his affectionate touch, keigo could practically feel the care and concern emanating from renji.

so keigo's tears may have continued to roll down his cheeks, but the frantic sobbing and desperate grasping for clarity slowly ebbed away. his breathing regulated to shuddering huffs, the grip to his hands slacking just enough to signal a calm sinking into him.

there was silence for a moment as keigo just allowed himself to exist within renji's presence, protected by his embrace and concern for someone as undeserving as he was. ]

...you really have that much faith in me?

[reachingfangs]

[ Renji hardly even breathed as he let Keigo cling onto him, only releasing a sigh when he felt the tremble through his body ease, the stifled sobs turn quiet, the slack in his tight hold on his clothes. He didn't know what else to say to him, acutely aware that words could only soothe so much, so he was quiet until Keigo spoke again.

The question caught him off-guard, but his reply was immediate. ]

Yeah.

[ The tone made it sound like the answer was obvious. Renji leaned back, pulling Keigo aside just enough to encourage him to look up at his face. His eyebrows were drawn in a frown, concerned and grave at the same time. ]

Why wouldn't I?

[ Unlike when Renji revealed his affectionate, this admission did not produce a twist of embarrassment. It seemed natural to him, that Keigo would persevere no matter what cosmic forces conspired to do to him. He already had. ]

[loudmouths]

[ he hadn't meant to draw renji's concern again with his question, given that it was more or less instinctual than any sort of rooted doubt in what renji was saying. it was just... still hard to conceptualize.

so he looked at renji with a sort of confused gaze, his own brows knit together slightly until he enforce himself to relax again. ]

Sorry, I just still find it surprising how much faith you put into me... It's really flattering, but I worry I'm gonna end up proving you wrong or something one day.

[ keigo reached over and grasped renji's hand, giving it a squeeze. ]

You really give me something to work toward so... the idea of disappointing you is kinda scary.

[reachingfangs]

[ Renji gave a short squeeze back, the warmth of their touch flowing up his arm. His gaze softened, his voice taking on an almost tender quality. ]

You don't have to worry about that. There ain't any way you could disappoint me.

[ Honestly, Renji felt like if one of them was going to turn out to be a disappointment, it'd be him. Renji hardly measured up to his own expectations, hyper aware of all his deficits as a man. He didn't know how he measured up to Keigo's expectations, how he earned this much adoration from him considering Keigo saw so many sides of him he wished he hadn't seen. ]

Just keep livin' your life.

[ It was a deceptive thing to say, a short directive that encompassed so much. Asking Keigo to live meant asking him to fight. Fight the sorrow, the hopelessness, the loss of control. It meant asking him to keep being vulnerable and maybe letting his heart get broken again and again. It might be too unreasonable for him to ask after all that Keigo had been through. Surely everyone had a limit to what they could endure before exhaustion and despair set in. Renji knew that better than most men.

But knowing just made him more sure that if anyone had the strength to bear the absurdities of living, Keigo would. Because after all the ordeals he'd been through, he still sometimes smiled so bright that he could clear storms and light the sky. That was enough on its own for Renji to regard him with admiration. ]

[loudmouths]

[ they were birds of a feather, then. keigo didn't feel he lived up to any expectations, through no fault of anyone but himself. having a shinigami, a being of inherent and elevated status compared to a lowly human, put so much faith in him was difficult to wrap his mind around at times. much like accepting and understanding the love between them and how real it was.

though love certainly healed much of keigo's proverbial wounds. it didn't really take much, but renji provided an abundance that keigo could revel in. for that alone, keigo already felt like he could take on anything to preserve it. ]

I'm sure I could find a way... [ the amusement was pretty clear on his voice, though it was more muted than anything else. the sorrow still hung heavily overhead, but there was definitely a bittersweetness to it. so long as renji was there for him, he'd survive. ]

[reachingfangs]

[ There it was, Keigo already pulling himself together even when it seemed like his heart might shatter. His playful reply was akin to a few beams of sunlight piercing the veil of clouds lingering after the downpour. Renji returned the levity in his own way, his tone brusque and slightly dismissive, an attempt at something routine. Still, he smiled a little seeing Keigo's eyes had gone dry. ]

Don't work too hard tryna prove me wrong.

[ This, at least, was one disagreement where Renji was sure that he was right.

Renji kept his arm drawn over Keigo's back, holding him close even now to make sure there was no doubt in his steadfast devotion. As incompatible as they were on paper, they fit neatly together side by side. ]