[ if keigo truly thought on it for more than a second, he probably would have stopped himself from making such an intimate display so flagrantly. but controlling impulses was not a strong suit of his, resulting in many bruises and scars over the years. keigo could deal with those repercussions, the physical sting of retaliation, but it was the interpersonal relations that he truly feared for. so far, it looked as though this particular impulse wasn't met with intrinsic resistance, which was an interesting thing to consider. the way renji moved to touch his face so tenderly arrested keigo's thoughts completely, which left him open to the shock of getting his face pinched, as light as it might have been.
he flinched, frowned at renji even as he bore witness to the way he smiled at him. the words he spoke might have been met with internal resistance at first (why would anything regarding his feelings and worries be anything short of frivolous?) but the second renji slid his fingers around his wrist, around his hand, the true gravity sunk into him. it dragged him down, enveloped in a sensation of true belonging all over again, tinged with something more.
it was a layered experience. it felt like more than just a promise of friendship and the generic understanding that came part and parcel with it. it felt deeper than that, but he couldn't pretend to truly grasp to what end. keigo was frightened to consider any sort of deeper meaning, terrified of his own desperate need for it to be true, and angry that he would allow himself to expect anything of the sort. as a result, he could only look down at their joined hands, at how renji's eclipsed his own in their grasp. it felt safe, yet still so dangerous.
keigo breathed out. what renji said hadn't fallen on deaf ears. quite the opposite, really. while he wasn't typically eager to brush aside the insecurities he had about himself, the guilt of disregarding what renji said, what he clearly felt and believed, was more than enough to at least motivate keigo to try.
but putting words to that feeling was an extensive project that would take more than a few seconds to finish. he couldn't stand there in silence, either. a middle ground would have to be attained, and given how they stood, keigo decided to let another impulse grab him by the wrist and take him on another ill-advised journey.
they were already close enough to each other, so it wasn't a difficult movement. keigo simply took that half-step in, renji's hands still clasped in place and keigo showing no desire to change that. once close enough as he would dare, keigo tipped his chin up, turned his head at the proper angle. renji was already looking down and that made it all the easier to capture his lips in a soft, chaste kiss. the kiss lingered, but didn't venture far; no tongue, no teeth, no breathy exhales to entice. just a kiss, sweet and as intimate as their conversation had been.
keigo broke the kiss after a moment and stepped back to his original position. he was smiling, grateful and something more. always that "something more" that he yearned for but was too afraid to give form to. ]
[ The kiss caused Renji to still. All the anxious shifting of his feet and the searching look in his eyes as Keigo dragged on the silence once again came to a halt when his lips pressed onto his. For all his inhuman speed, it still took him by surprise. Without thinking, his hand not already grasping Keigo's settled on his hip, gently drawing him near. It wasn't anything like the way they'd kissed before, void of greedy desperation threaded with hot lust and need. And Renji didn't make it anything more than it was, something soft and close between... two people.
Renji let his hand slip from Keigo's hip as he stepped back and ignored the impulse to analyze what this tender kiss meant beyond that. They had intense sexual chemistry and equally intense friendship. If there was potential for more to their relationship than that, well. It just wasn't possible for a shinigami and a human to be together in the real world, and it was a waste of time thinking about impossibilities.
Instead, he fixed his focus on Keigo's smile, relieved to see that after all the tears the clouds had cleared.
His response was quick and blunt as if he was trying to show how unaffected he was and failing, in no small part thanks to how his face was still tinged with spots of red. ]
No problem.
[ Renji released Keigo's hand after a second as if he fitted so comfortably in his grasp that he'd forgotten he was holding him. He felt the danger in their entwined hands, too. Keigo could be as free as he wanted to express his profound admiration for him, but Renji couldn't bare his soul to Keigo any more than he already had. It was overwhelmingly embarrassing to think he'd ever said so plainly how much their bond meant to him.
He rubbed the back of his neck, stepping back to put a little more space between them, and glanced askance. ]
So... don't keep that kinda shit to yourself anymore.
[ His eyes flicked briefly back to Keigo's face, gauging if he could tell that Renji really meant that he didn't want Keigo to keep his troubles from him. Even without their hands knit tight together, he felt like he'd unwittingly let Keigo slip into a crack in his facade of collected assurance. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
reachingfangs) wrote2018-01-08 12:54 pm
no subject
he flinched, frowned at renji even as he bore witness to the way he smiled at him. the words he spoke might have been met with internal resistance at first (why would anything regarding his feelings and worries be anything short of frivolous?) but the second renji slid his fingers around his wrist, around his hand, the true gravity sunk into him. it dragged him down, enveloped in a sensation of true belonging all over again, tinged with something more.
it was a layered experience. it felt like more than just a promise of friendship and the generic understanding that came part and parcel with it. it felt deeper than that, but he couldn't pretend to truly grasp to what end. keigo was frightened to consider any sort of deeper meaning, terrified of his own desperate need for it to be true, and angry that he would allow himself to expect anything of the sort. as a result, he could only look down at their joined hands, at how renji's eclipsed his own in their grasp. it felt safe, yet still so dangerous.
keigo breathed out. what renji said hadn't fallen on deaf ears. quite the opposite, really. while he wasn't typically eager to brush aside the insecurities he had about himself, the guilt of disregarding what renji said, what he clearly felt and believed, was more than enough to at least motivate keigo to try.
but putting words to that feeling was an extensive project that would take more than a few seconds to finish. he couldn't stand there in silence, either. a middle ground would have to be attained, and given how they stood, keigo decided to let another impulse grab him by the wrist and take him on another ill-advised journey.
they were already close enough to each other, so it wasn't a difficult movement. keigo simply took that half-step in, renji's hands still clasped in place and keigo showing no desire to change that. once close enough as he would dare, keigo tipped his chin up, turned his head at the proper angle. renji was already looking down and that made it all the easier to capture his lips in a soft, chaste kiss. the kiss lingered, but didn't venture far; no tongue, no teeth, no breathy exhales to entice. just a kiss, sweet and as intimate as their conversation had been.
keigo broke the kiss after a moment and stepped back to his original position. he was smiling, grateful and something more. always that "something more" that he yearned for but was too afraid to give form to. ]
Thank you, Renji.
no subject
Renji let his hand slip from Keigo's hip as he stepped back and ignored the impulse to analyze what this tender kiss meant beyond that. They had intense sexual chemistry and equally intense friendship. If there was potential for more to their relationship than that, well. It just wasn't possible for a shinigami and a human to be together in the real world, and it was a waste of time thinking about impossibilities.
Instead, he fixed his focus on Keigo's smile, relieved to see that after all the tears the clouds had cleared.
His response was quick and blunt as if he was trying to show how unaffected he was and failing, in no small part thanks to how his face was still tinged with spots of red. ]
No problem.
[ Renji released Keigo's hand after a second as if he fitted so comfortably in his grasp that he'd forgotten he was holding him. He felt the danger in their entwined hands, too. Keigo could be as free as he wanted to express his profound admiration for him, but Renji couldn't bare his soul to Keigo any more than he already had. It was overwhelmingly embarrassing to think he'd ever said so plainly how much their bond meant to him.
He rubbed the back of his neck, stepping back to put a little more space between them, and glanced askance. ]
So... don't keep that kinda shit to yourself anymore.
[ His eyes flicked briefly back to Keigo's face, gauging if he could tell that Renji really meant that he didn't want Keigo to keep his troubles from him. Even without their hands knit tight together, he felt like he'd unwittingly let Keigo slip into a crack in his facade of collected assurance. ]
Alright?