[ keigo's own feelings were just as arresting to him as they were to renji, at least in retrospect. it was alarming just how intensely he felt and how readily he poured his fears and anxieties to renji, something that he could never envision himself admitting to even the oldest of his friends.
they blindsided him just as swiftly. but the difference here was that keigo could choose to articulate them, rather than just experience them and wait for the results. there was an ebb and flow to the emotions he held, and right then, as renji spoke, keigo felt them subside, replaced by surprise and nearly disbelief.
he spoke with such conviction, so assuredly. that conviction flowed through the embrace he returned, just as equally shocking to keigo in that moment as anything else. he blinked once, tears slipping away and finally dissipating as he watched renji with anticipation. in that daze, renji had graduated to another maneuver, holding him at arm's length and snapping keigo's attention right back, like a rubber band.
the fear in his chest dispersed outward, and in its place, another feeling of warmth. different than before, this warmth caught keigo's breath in his throat, made his heart flutter once, twice. he could only stare back at renji, totally taken and invested in this unspoken promise.
why did he feel such longing when renji was right there in front of him?
the seconds dragged on and soon, keigo realized he needed to say something to prevent any misconceptions about how he felt. keigo took in a shuddering breath, exhaled again, then ... he smiled. it was a foolish thing to say, keigo knew it logically. there was absolutely no way that renji could confirm without a doubt that he would remember... perhaps that was why he yearned: anticipation of something he truly coveted being torn from just beyond his reach.
perhaps what keigo asked next wasn't fair, perhaps it was greedy, but he couldn't help himself. he reached up and touched renji's wrist, his fingers almost shyly ghosting up to the back of his hand. he squeezed him there, daring to try and snake his fingers around it. ]
...Any of it?
[ realistically, they couldn't pick and choose, but keigo wanted to gauge where he stood, what he aligned to in renji's mind. ]
no subject
they blindsided him just as swiftly. but the difference here was that keigo could choose to articulate them, rather than just experience them and wait for the results. there was an ebb and flow to the emotions he held, and right then, as renji spoke, keigo felt them subside, replaced by surprise and nearly disbelief.
he spoke with such conviction, so assuredly. that conviction flowed through the embrace he returned, just as equally shocking to keigo in that moment as anything else. he blinked once, tears slipping away and finally dissipating as he watched renji with anticipation. in that daze, renji had graduated to another maneuver, holding him at arm's length and snapping keigo's attention right back, like a rubber band.
the fear in his chest dispersed outward, and in its place, another feeling of warmth. different than before, this warmth caught keigo's breath in his throat, made his heart flutter once, twice. he could only stare back at renji, totally taken and invested in this unspoken promise.
why did he feel such longing when renji was right there in front of him?
the seconds dragged on and soon, keigo realized he needed to say something to prevent any misconceptions about how he felt. keigo took in a shuddering breath, exhaled again, then ... he smiled. it was a foolish thing to say, keigo knew it logically. there was absolutely no way that renji could confirm without a doubt that he would remember... perhaps that was why he yearned: anticipation of something he truly coveted being torn from just beyond his reach.
perhaps what keigo asked next wasn't fair, perhaps it was greedy, but he couldn't help himself. he reached up and touched renji's wrist, his fingers almost shyly ghosting up to the back of his hand. he squeezed him there, daring to try and snake his fingers around it. ]
...Any of it?
[ realistically, they couldn't pick and choose, but keigo wanted to gauge where he stood, what he aligned to in renji's mind. ]